Archive for October 7th, 2010

7th October
written by Dame Suzy

Amid stories by Ashton Kutcher’s alleged mistress that he and Demi Moore have an open relationship but that she doesn’t approve of his having sex with women without her knowledge or participation, I have to say it sounds bogus, too easy. If it’s false, the two of them need not even comment on the sillyness. If it does happen to be true, I don’t think it’s much of an open relationship. Especially if Demi isn’t getting the same opportunity with men. It’s certainly not the kind of relationship I would go for. “Oh, but only men need to go outside the relationship.” Bullshit.

This is not to say I believe everyone should have an open relationship. Relationships of all kinds have difficult elements to them. Some people can’t deal with the jealousy or the fact that for a time their partner seems obsessed with someone else and they think this won’t end. And frankly, there’s always the possibility that it won’t. And if the main couple doesn’t build on their own relationship, making it fresh, etc., it’s a very easy choice to part ways.

Of course, a few rules are okay.

1) A standard level of respect for my man means I have to agree to keep this blog anonymous and not include any pictures that might reveal my true identity. It’s a big compromise since I’m vain and because images, video, and audio would have added flavor to this site *sigh* but he didn’t want his family and colleagues to find out about it. He would then have to face their strict disapproval of both him and of me. He, unlike me, cares about what other people – especially his family – thinks of him.

2) We must use condoms. This doesn’t work 100% of the time, as occasionally a condom breaks, slips out/in, or a guy is an asshole and just pulls it off. But it does work the vast majority of the time. Of course, people who cheat hardly follow this rule, so I’m sure not everyone would agree to this, but for us it’s there to – well, frankly, ensure that we’ll be alive and healthy enough to enjoy our open relationship for at least another decade or so without scary surgery or lifetime dependencies on life-saving drugs. Sex is just not as fun with medical complications.

Demi’s alleged rule that she pick out Ashton’s other women? That’s no fun at all. This means you as yourself can’t meet someone and act on a spark. It’s methodical and pre-meditated. It also makes vacation flings when you travel on your own – entirely sexless. No, thanks.

Let open relationships be truly open. Let individuals act as such. “I, Bob Smith, am a great person, not half of another person. Would you, lovely Jane Lee, like to spend a few hot hours with me tonight?” versus “Your application has been submitted and will be approved or rejected within 24 hours.”