Archive for December, 2010

29th December
2010
written by Dame Suzy

Using satellites to broadcast images of genocide in Sudan sounds very futuristic. The images could cause international outrage which would then encourage troop deployment to save people from annihilation by very backwards and primitive animals with guns. That the shooters would feel shame is unlikely, but nor are they advanced enough to dig the underground facilities that would make mass killings more discreet albeit inconvenient. I for one hope that this effort by George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and the rest, is successful, but I won’t hold my breath.

28th December
2010
written by Dame Suzy

Spanair just sent me a link to a video about a special December 24th flight from Barcelona to Gran Canaria. Not only is it cute, it’s superb marketing.

24th December
2010
written by Dame Suzy

If you google “Jesus’ birthdate,” you will find dates of March to September. We happen to celebrate it during winter, perhaps to counteract the winter blahs in the more important half of the hemisphere.

What this means is that I personally dread holiday travel, because it has been known to snow in many parts of the world, and I have no desire to get stuck in some airport like many Europeans this season, just so I can pig out on a meat I’m not crazy about and blab with a family I’m also not thrilled about.

So it’s time to either start a trend of virtual Christmases – where we can wish each other well and pig out via Live Messenger or Skype, and avoid the snarl of the opposite of a warm, cuddly Christmas.

13th December
2010
written by Dame Suzy

Upon hearing that my man’s British colleague was on part of his twelve weeks of paternity leave and was often quite bored, I began to wonder whether paternity leave indeed was this cozy, adorable bonding thing that was giving men a lucky treat in getting to know their children for the first time.

Then I remembered what babies are like in these early months: light-sleeping, needy, pooping, peeing, slobbery, blobby little creatures who are stuck in whatever position you put them and just stare at you with their hazy vision, probably wondering what the heck you are.

Isn’t it bad enough that parents have to deal with nights of interrupted sleep for an average of six months? How about giving at least one of the parents a break from their spawn so that they can speak like adults for a few hours of the day and not be reduced to “gootchie goos” and “boo boo’s got a poopy”?

Actually, smart fathers should use their paternity leave to leave their babies with a nanny and take a vacation somewhere exotic, where they could sleep in every day, drink exotic beverages and forget that their penises did something to change the lives of the man and penis forever.

Yet somebody has to take care of the baby, so for the first six weeks, it’s probably best that the mother do it, since she’s already endured enough pain and discomfort that she can tolerate a few more weeks of a limited existence and not wish she were in some alternate reality where babies were banned. Unfortunately, few others would/could put up with babies that young.

I call for the liberation of men from paternity leave. Let the women suffer through pregnancy, childbirth, and the aftermath. Let the men escape to their workplaces for sanity, albeit tinged with drowsiness.

8th December
2010
written by Dame Suzy

Even if Warren Buffett weren’t acting in his businesses’ best interest by supporting the estate tax so that his six insurance companies could profit, I don’t like the guy. He acts like Hollywood actors who are overwhelmingly liberal, precisely because they know how lucky they are to be in their position. It’s luck, not concerted effort that lands you abundant fame and fortune. The vast majority of SAG actors make very little money. And it the guilt of the lucky at having such wealth that causes them to believe that money doesn’t belong to individuals. It should be distributed. And I believe that Warren Buffett, long known for living modestly despite his astronomical wealth, has that same guilt complex that makes the rest of us suffer, if not by taking our money, then by making us believe that the rich owe us money, that they should share the wealth because it’s so hard to find a job and the government – with money primarily from the wealthy – should pay me when I’m idle. And by the way, a family making $250,000 or more to me is not rich, especially if they live in Silicon Valley or New York City.

2nd December
2010
written by Dame Suzy

Within hours of sending my inquiry about Rape-aXe, I received a response stating that some rethinking had to be done but that it is in the approval stages. Alas, urgent matters take time. Good luck to them and to the women and children of Africa.

2nd December
2010
written by Dame Suzy

Here is a long-winded Yahoo article about the WikiLeaks release of classified and often dumb government documents. Yet what I take from it is this: China is considering accepting a unified Korea under South Korean leadership! Dude, this is freaking awesome news! One reason to hate China less! Whether or not it spurs North Korea to go even more crazy and add China to its list of potential targets doesn’t matter much to me. The idea that North Korea may be without allies drives me to near euphoria! It’s time to go down, fatty.

1st December
2010
written by Dame Suzy

In 2005, a white South African blood technician (or doctor depending on the source), Sonnet Ehlers, came up with an anti-rape device or rape trap, which was later named Rap-aXe. She did so in response to the shockingly high number of rapes, often of children, in Africa – over one million per year.The device works much like tire treadles – in one direction you proceed, but come out, your tires get popped – so in this case, the penis’s skin gets lodged in a series of sharp barbs and requires surgical removal. The pain is supposed to be so great as to effectively incapacitate the rapist, leaving enough time for the victim to push the rapist attached to the device out of her and run to safety. He also cannot urinate until it is removed.

Production was supposed to have begun in April of 2007, but did it? I found two websites via Wikipedia, [! both are non-functioning links as of Oct 7, 2011] http://www.antirape.co.za and http://www.rape-axe.info and did not find any current information other than the intention of the inventor to distribute these devices during the World Cup this past summer. However, the first site listed had a number of interesting facts and is worth a read-through. If the statistics and information are true, some of them are shocking. I used the comment form to inquire. I will let you know if I receive a response.

I do hope this is in production and readily available. I hate the fact that in parts of Africa, it is believed that sex with a virgin cures AIDS and that raping a woman can be construed as becoming a man. What the fuck is wrong with Africa anyway? No wonder when it was proposed to slaves in pre-Civil War America that they be sent back to Africa, they said, “Hell, no!”

Dec. 2, 1010 Update: within hours of sending my inquiry about Rape-aXe, I received a response stating that some rethinking had to be done but that it is in the approval stages. Alas, urgent matters take time. Good luck to them and to the women and children of Africa.

Oct 7, 2011 Update: Both of the links I listed above are no longer active, which makes me think the device in the end didn’t get approval or was ineffective. Sadness.