Archive for January, 2011

17th January
written by Dame Suzy

Just an FYI that David Beckham’s Porsche sold for $217,100. And congratulations to him and wifey on their upcoming bundle of joy!

13th January
written by Dame Suzy

It’s bad enough that I couldn’t remember his name, but his looks remind me so much of Robert Pattinson who also has a strangely-spelled last name that I wondered what had happened to him. I know he’d been in Jumper, which I saw in Europe possibly dubbed into another language, and that it had flopped, but other than that, I knew nothing. It turns out that he hasn’t been involved in much. I have added Shattered Glass to my queue which is a biopic about a lying journalist, but the others don’t seem noteworthy.

Could it be that the actor has taken quiet roles and rejected others in order to distance himself from Anakin and be able to be seen as other characters? If so, he’s done a great job. Unfortunately, he may just have missed the opportunity to maintain his value and gone down the trail of anonymity. Jumper’s lack of success had nothing to do with Mr. Christensen. I wish him the best.

12th January
written by Dame Suzy

I saw the picture of the matte black Porsche on the U.K.”s Sun website, and instantly thought of the junker featured on American T.V. show Californication. I thought surely this vehicle was vintage with its spray-painted looking exterior. But no, it’s a 2008 model with all the trimmings. There is a house in my neighborhood that has two vehicles parked outside poorly spray-painted a matte gray. I have often thought of donating money to them to get decent paint jobs. Now I can make the same offer to the dealers selling David Beckham’s vehicle.

Its ebay auction end date is set to be Dec. 14 (off from Dec. 12 a few days ago) and no longer features the soccer legend’s name in the listing.

It never ceases to amaze me how cheap-looking can be extremely expensive and lucrative to those involved. I can’t be resentful. I can only be envious.

11th January
written by Dame Suzy

When I found out that Austinite Brad Womack was to be the Bachelor again for the television special that won’t die – he dumped the final two chicks at the end of his previous attempt/season, my first thought was, “Again, seriously?” My second thought was: “Is this a sham? Could it be his identical twin brother in his place just so he could experience the same thing?” I mean, twin shows always feature swapping places. How funny would that be? At the end, he picks his bride and says, “Just kidding.”

An even better idea for the show would be to have both of them on at the same time. Talk about confusion! Did girl #14 fall in love with Brad or the brother? Will she be able to pick him out of a line-up? Who is the better kisser, the better toucher, the better lovemaker?

I’d like to write this guy off as an opportunist and a gigantic fake. The characteristic most striking besides his killer pectorals and six-pack is his lack of charisma. However, along with a few friends, these brothers own several successful Austin bars. And contrary to being a pampered bar owner, at least one of them I saw diligently collecting used bottles and wiping down tables at a catered party, so I instantly gained respect for at least one of them. And if this comeback is a mere attempt to earn money to further his business ventures, then I am in favor. A few broken female hearts/egos along the way? In support of the American dream? Hell, yeah. And if real love begins though burns for only a minute? I also approve.

7th January
written by Dame Suzy

My man sent me a link to this article which manages to incorporate many examples of slang for masturbation. Why do men masturate? I remember being very concerned in the beginning of my relationship with my man that he would masturbate a lot, even with me within easy reach. I remember feeling inadequate. It took me awhile to learn that masturbation is normal and a good thing. And that more intercourse actually might even mean more masturbation. Both would feed into each other, so no one was the loser. It turns out that masturbation is actually good for animals. The article’s author states that frequent masturbation contributes to fresher, faster and thus more competitive sperm as well as cleaning the pipes.

In addition:

One consequence of shining the pole so often is that the testis enlarges to accommodate the demand for sperm. It’s personal preference if this is desirable but there may be an evolutionary significance to larger balls. And that is the biggest balls gets the worm.

The author claims that ball size is not a relevant condition of attraction for humans, but I would beg to differ. Women do pay attention to men’s packages, and part of that is the balls. A guy with no junk in his trunks does not peak a woman’s interest. A nice-sized package feeds imagination and desire. How many times have I wanted to just (gently) grab a guy’s package? Too many times to count!

6th January
written by Dame Suzy

Yes, there is a difference.


Penis is simply the organ without any emotional or erotic attachment. It can be diseased, itchy, small, large, pink, brown, curved or straight. A cock, however, is a tool used to obtain or give pleasure or pain. There is lots of emotion and eroticism attached to it, positive in the case of two people perhaps finally having sex after five chemistry-filled dates, or negative in the case of rape.

Note that cock is not used as a derogatory term used against a fucktard or asshole. Instead, use dick and its stronger brother dickhead.

Spanish language lesson: cock or dick = la polla


Vagina is the exact counterpart to penis, both clinical and sedate terms.

What about cunt? It already has a negative meaning. It is something that gets fucked. It may or may not give pleasure, however, it rarely gives pain unless lined with a device such as this. It does conjure emotions similar to that of cock.

More versatile than cock as a word, it is also used as an insult to any kind of women, attractive or otherwise. It bestows power onto the person, as it is someone to be despised.

Cunt is also one of my favorite words ever. Don’t call me a bitch. Call me a cunt. I won’t be offended. I’ll be flattered.

5th January
written by Dame Suzy

One of my favorite dresses cost me $13.50 (plus $30 to tailor) = $43.50. It looks much more expensive than it looks. The material is finely woven cotton and has a sheen to it like Egyptian cotton. Wear it with cheap shoes and I make it not look so great. Dress it up with a luxurious pair of shoes, I look amazing.

For us women, we can obtain good-looking shoes without paying a huge price tag, if we stay away from materials that when worn don’t reveal their fakeness. Velour can look like suede and there are some great quality super suedes that look like fine suede as opposed to most standard suedes which have a rougher look to them. Glossy fabrics if well-made will look exactly like patent leather. But try to stay away from that material’s being at the toe or heel as when they split, it looks horrendously cheap.

For men, I’m afraid that you simply must spend $150-300 each on a couple of pairs of fantastic shoes, and only leather will do. Aldo has disappointed of late with their increasing selection of poorly-made synthetics that do exactly what I mention above with the glossy fabrics. Scuff the shoe, render it useless.

Of course, if you are gorgeous, you will get away without being stylish all the way to your toes. But when a man is handsome and has great shoes, the impression he makes is worth more than each element by itself. A fitted T-shirt, a pair of torn jeans of any brand, and a great pair of shoes will make you look polished and delicious.