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24th April
written by Dame Suzy

La Madame is a mere shadow of its former self. The large stage that had housed up to ten scantilly-clad models and huge ripped Spaniards et al. has been converted into a VIP section and when dancers do come on, there are only three and the guy is burdened (as am I) with layers of clothing and the female go-go dancers are typical but not enviable. The most notable is the large number of transsexuals there, which I am now aware of because of my accidental partying with some a couple of years ago. Then I wonder where those two women are. One had hinted that she was somewhere in her forties. She and her friend who drank like a fish are nowhere to be found.

Which leads to me to wonder what happens to older transsexuals? What kind of lives do they lead after their glory years? They’ve lived most of their adult lives as prostitutes – it isn’t like with men who abandon their families at age fifty and undergo a makeover into a masculine womanhood. These trannies try over-hard to be the sexiest women around, though with narrow hips and strange calves. I discuss this with my friend, and he seems to think that they may simply become normal, average-looking middle-aged women later in their lives, abandoning their vanity like most women born as such.

But back to La Madade. There are never enough partygoers to get the room hot enough for guys to take off their shirts, and it’s likely that I wouldn’t want to see them shirtless as their are few muscles to be found. And where are all the gay boys? There used to be beefy gay boys aplenty. I like pretty things; I don’t care if I don’t get to play with them. So I leave at a disappointing 3:15am to be back in my gorgeous Barcelona home to sleep off the ill effects of a deeply trouble economy.

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