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15th August
2011
written by Dame Suzy

I just read an article about a girl who went home with a guy, had sex with him, then was held down by that guy while his friend raped her. What the fuck?

It used to be that going home with a guy meant you’re supposed to sleep with him, at least according to guys. So nowadays, if you go home with a cute guy and his friends, do you have to sleep with them too? Guys I meet often ask for threesomes without any provocation. Maybe they’re just being good friends. After all, they don’t want their buddy to get nothing because that wouldn’t be fair. That’s me being generous. But in my experience, these guys are pushy and annoying. And a threesome has never come out of being an asshole.

What if a girl goes home with a guy and finds out he has roommates? Does modern protocol mean she has to sleep with everyone in the house? Hell no!

If you want to have a threesome, both of you have to charm me. And no, that doesn’t mean one can be twice as charming, enough for both of them. And don’t rape me. Jesus. Talk about making threesomes unpopular. If you want to promote threesomes so badly, throw coersion and rape far, far out of the equation. You’re giving threesomes a bad name!

And if you can’t charm the girl, then get your own one-night-stand. Let the victor get the spoils; and you who missed out get a beer from the frig. Then the next day, go to the gym, shower, make yourself pretty, and charm your way into some other girl’s pants.

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