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18th November
2015
written by Dame Suzy

I realized I had never written about the aftermath of my brief but intense Australian relationship from 2013.

My Aussie master and I kept in touch, and for the first month it seemed he was still into me. Then he posted “I think I’m in love” on his public Facebook page and I naturally assumed it was me, since he hadn’t been in love/in a relationship in four years. I was all warm and gushy inside since I had fallen for him during our time together – albeit naively, prematurely, and temporarily.

Alas, I was wrong. He had met someone on an online dating site, started dating her right before he met me, and possibly had a date with her the night before I left.

During the time his relationship with this other woman was supposedly on overdrive, he was still talking about seeing me.

Him: Good thing is she’ll prob let me shag you when I come over… She’s like that – understanding.

After some painful (to me) small talk about how they met, etc.

Me: If you don’t hear from me for a while, you’ll understand. That you could fall in love with someone else so quickly is a pretty swift punch in my gut. I of course want you to be happy! I just need some time to recover. Until then…

Him: Oke dokee

Damn, ouch. Well, this is a man who’s never been married and is pushing 45 after all. So knowing how to be nice to women is not one of his fortes.

Anyway, I got over it more quickly that I thought I would and two months later:

Him: How you doing you sexy beast ?? I’m in the USA ( Cali ) for 3 weeks in sept/ oct if you’re around…

After I didn’t respond for a few days out of respect for the budding relationship:

Him: No love?

I didn’t reply until after his trip was over, over two months later.

Me: Hope your trip to the States was great and I wish you and your new family all the best. With love

Him: Wow! Long time no hear. How you been? …(small talk)…Let me know if you’re in town again be good to catch up.

He friend-requested me, I said yes, and all hell broke loose.

Suddenly, his “understanding” fiancée, started looking through all our steamy messages and naughty pictures (all mine since he’s a selfish bastard) and wrote me via his Facebook profile.

Idiot: Hi, This is Idiot. (His) Fiance. So nice to read all stuff here and then. Just funny reading your sex talks and him making you a sex object. and u offering yourself as a mistress. It amazes me to encounter a matured woman like you with family and kids but still looking around and fucking other guys..disgusting! isn’t it. Who would say no to FREE meat..just saying..

Me: It was I who didn’t respond to his Cali request knowing he had a potentially meaningful relationship in the works. And I also knew being understanding works well in theory but shouldn’t often be tested, especially so early. Aside from that, relax, you shouldn’t feel threatened by someone who lives thousands of miles away, and like I wrote him, I wish all of you well, and chalk your rude words up as a healthy amount – however unwarranted – of jealousy, ignorant of what his and my relationship was. Note the use of the past tense.

Idiot: He told me about you fucking around when on holidays overseas. I am not threatened. I am scared for std. Peace of advice though. You are married with kids. I’m not ignorant of what happened to u guys because he told me about you. You flicked a guy in Sydney before him.

Idiot: Fucked. Oh dear! Men are men u know that.u are more experienced.

First of, check your damn messages before you send insults, lady. Actually, get someone who speaks English to write them. You sound like you just fell off the boat, landed in swamp goo, got your brain fluids sucked out by leeches, and then got a yeast infection. (I had fun writing that. Hyperbole? Nah.)

Also, I wanted to add that I actually hadn’t flicked anyone in Sydney but that had had every right to. I believe she wrote more insulting crap via his email account but am not going to bother looking for them.

I saw no point in possibly breaking them up by asking her how she expects a guy who’s never been monogamous and has never been married to suddenly become that for the rest of their lives? Understanding, my ass. But if someone’s going to mess up their relationship, it would be either of them, not me. I’m too much of an adult – geez, when did that happen?

Interestingly, I have no interest in seeing what the outcome of all that was. It’s been two years. Did they get hitched after all? I kind of like being in the dark about it; it remains a mystery. I think of him from time to time, fondly. It would have been pretty awesome to have a private BJJ lesson turn into something much less (or more?) dangerous. And though I have no plans to return to Australia – been there, done that, don’t feel at one with their culture – who’s to say?

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