news & politics

1st December
written by Dame Suzy

And no, I’m not talking about Ashton Kutcher but I suppose I’ll give him honorable mention as a savvy entertainer.

It started with an article I read about Clark Gable’s love child Judy Lewis. Then, I’d read that his first wife, whom he married at age 24 had been 15 years older than he, or 39, and his second wife when he was 29, 17 years older, a ripe 46. His subsequent marriages were to younger women, Carole Lombard by 6 years (reasonable), and Kay Williams, 16 (reasonable for an aging star).

Recently, I’d also read that powerful screen presence and stud Hugh Jackman (43), was married to a woman 13 years his senior (56), a fellow actor.

I also remember how John Travolta (24) had had a deep relationship with an older woman, Diana Hyland (40), 16 years older, until her death from breast cancer.

So what attracts men to older women? How about just giving up and saying people fall in love without regard to age. You click, you have passion, and you’re from the same universe. Maybe you love nurturing women, who cares? I click with younger men, but I look their age, act and feel it too, so what does that mean?

Men have plenty of time to divorce (if they want) and remarry younger women, or stick it out. You didn’t have a chance with the Hollywood stud anyway, except a quickie in a hotel room. So, stop being shocked and move on. I know I did.

29th September
written by Dame Suzy

I just bought Chasing Papi, a cute film from the last decade starring the bombshell Sofia Vergara and the stunning Rosalyn Sanchez but featuring arguably, at one point, the sexiest man on earth, Eduardo Verástegui.

When I last had visited Verástegui’s website, he had just ended a round of celebration on the film Bella. He went through a weird period of time where he sent mixed messages. Among his causes were celibacy before marriage – in his case, born-again celibacy. Another was trying to promote California Proposition 8, which would denounce gay marriage. But his main cause was the protection of the unborn, especially since so many Latino babies were victims of abortion. Visiting his website again last week, I am happy to say that he’s abandoned causes that simply distract from his objective and make him sound crazy.

He is now committed to the protection of the unborn, for which he spearheaded a Los Angeles-based clinic that offers free prenatal services to those in need. It opened recently.

Am I pro-life or pro-choice? I am BOTH. How is this possible?

What this means is that I believe a woman ultimately makes the decision to end the life of the unborn child, BUT I don’t believe it has to be easy. That is to say, go ahead and use whatever treatment necessary, but make them see videos representing both sides of the story, even a video of the procedure, even if they’re early enough to use the RU-?? drug. It’s not pretty business and they shouldn’t be blind to it. And even if they do have an abortion this time, this may serve as a nice deterrent for the future. And I recommend a requirement to see an ultrasound.

When I myself saw the ultrasound of my child at three months, I was amazed at how awesome she was, swirling around, how developed, how human. And years later, she’s still awesome and I get to be a hot mom, not someone worrying about trying to have kids before it’s too late.

The video Eduardo showed at one point on his site was a gruesome few minutes of aborted fetuses in a trashbag, the same video I think I was shown as a teenager. This by itself would be unseemly torture to a potential mother. But showing all sides to the story is just that; there are reasons to keep the baby and reasons not to, and we don’t have to paint over the truth just to make them feel better now. Because many or possibly most won’t always feel that way. Better to be fully informed.

And this, by the way, from Dame Suzy, an atheistic, gay-friendly, libertine, conscientious hedonist.

Would Eduardo Verástegui have been as successful in his march against abortion without his moviestar/dream god good looks? I don’t think so. It’s his sex appeal that makes people pay attention and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I for one am happy that he has bestowed upon the world so many images of his striking beauty, charm, and otherworldliness and gotten so many hearts pumping. Many good wishes to him, except stop gay-bashing, sweetheart.

15th August
written by Dame Suzy

So 60 were killed in Iraq in a dozen attacks on Monday. Um, hello, American forces aren’t out yet. If Al-Qaeda were smart, they would keep everything quiet till we were out of there, THEN wreak havoc on security forces. In so doing, they’d have free reign on clamping down on the Iraqis.

Or do they actually want the U.S. to stay? Is it good to have their Big Bad Wolf in their faces, so that they’re kept in the international spotlight? Without an enemy intervening, they’d have nothing to bitch about, would they?

Listen, Al Qaeda, Little Red Riding Hood you are not.

15th August
written by Dame Suzy

I just read an article about a girl who went home with a guy, had sex with him, then was held down by that guy while his friend raped her. What the fuck?

It used to be that going home with a guy meant you’re supposed to sleep with him, at least according to guys. So nowadays, if you go home with a cute guy and his friends, do you have to sleep with them too? Guys I meet often ask for threesomes without any provocation. Maybe they’re just being good friends. After all, they don’t want their buddy to get nothing because that wouldn’t be fair. That’s me being generous. But in my experience, these guys are pushy and annoying. And a threesome has never come out of being an asshole.

What if a girl goes home with a guy and finds out he has roommates? Does modern protocol mean she has to sleep with everyone in the house? Hell no!

If you want to have a threesome, both of you have to charm me. And no, that doesn’t mean one can be twice as charming, enough for both of them. And don’t rape me. Jesus. Talk about making threesomes unpopular. If you want to promote threesomes so badly, throw coersion and rape far, far out of the equation. You’re giving threesomes a bad name!

And if you can’t charm the girl, then get your own one-night-stand. Let the victor get the spoils; and you who missed out get a beer from the frig. Then the next day, go to the gym, shower, make yourself pretty, and charm your way into some other girl’s pants.

13th August
written by Dame Suzy

We’ve got the crazy blonds in Norway, the looting in Britain- and with temperatures up to the low 70’s you can’t blame the heat – continued chaos and death in Syria, random acts of violence in popular parts of Philadelphia possibly connected to extreme temperatures in the 100’s,…

I hate to admit it, but some of this shit will taper off considerably when school starts. In the case of Norway, there won’t be hundreds of teenagers at camp open to attacks, in Philadelphia and many of those kids will return to school. In Syria, perhaps potential victims who previously would be in the streets protesting, will bury their noses in books.

With the international economy in the crapper, older people are part of the problem, like in Britain. So the fall won’t bring instant peace, but let’s hope for a reprieve.

Good riddance, summer.

13th August
written by Dame Suzy

Have your cocaine, pot, heroin, crystal meth, cocaine, and all that, but don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt anyone but you.

Socially I’m pretty tolerant about drugs being done around me. I don’t feel like carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I sip my cocktail, down my shot, or have an ice cream, while those around me do the other stuff. If nothing better, it’s a study of the human animal at its most dependent.

But when I hear about another group of slayings performed by Mexican drug cartels, I’m furious. Fifty or a hundred Americans giving up drugs may save one life of the 41,000-and-counting dead neighbors to our south.

For me, it’s worth knowing that I’m not contributing to that figure with my bad habits. Though I won’t preach to people in public because that would be too much like religious crap, I’m writing here to encourage people to think about it. 41,000 isn’t incidental; it’s epidemic, as is the international nonchalance about the effect of our drug habits.

Have some strawberries instead and save a life.

12th August
written by Dame Suzy

I read this article about a bear attack on a Norwegian island, and was wondering if they were referring to the crazy blond fucker that killed all of those young people. But no, this was an actual polar bear.

Something must be in the island water; the blonds attracted to Norwegian islands are insane.

As if Norway needed another reason to skip it as a travel destination.

20th June
written by Dame Suzy

I accidentally passed through the back-splatter machine at the airport in March, and my man said, “Never do that again!”

So when I was asked to pass through it earlier this month, I asked for the pat-down instead. As I am always happy to experience new things, I went in with enthusiasm.

And at first it was very pleasant, like a gently massage. The TSA agent was polite, respectful and average-looking, not scary at all. She explained the process and put on gloves, just placing her hands firmly here and there and quickly swiping down my sides, back, legs, and arms. She used the back of her hand to feel under the wire of my bra on either side and then in the middle.

Then she advised me she would be putting her hand up the sides of my thighs and that’s where things got questionable. She quickly slid up either thigh and both times when she reached the intersection of crotch and leg, her hand moved my panties enough that it woke up my clit. A little happy whizz happened each time. Hmm, that seemed wrong.

I cannot imagine a child having to submit to these pat-downs. Would their first memories of sexual pleasure be associated with TSA agents? As for me, I’m not thrilled to have to do that again. And I wonder how to avoid that little whizz the next time around. Should I wear no panties at all under a skirt? That hardly seems proper. But maybe going nude under it all is the insane answer to an insane practice.

Note: the middle of my bra doesn’t actually touch my sternum. There’s a good three square centimeters’ worth of space underneath which could technicallly hold something.

24th May
written by Dame Suzy

Brazil’s congress has passed a law awaiting signature by the president to require underwear manufacturers to label about 735 million pieces of lingerie annually with advice to get screened for cancer or use condoms to avoid it.

How about labeling Brazilian bikinis with warnings that they may cause heart palpitations, heart attacks, rape, or death? Or labeling airline tickets to dangerous parts of the world with skulls and crossbones?

Seriously, stop adding more burden on manufacturers in a shitty economy and stop smoking the hash; it’s clouding your judgment.

3rd May
written by Dame Suzy

The U.S. military believed that burying Usama/Osama Bin Laden at sea would prevent his gravesite from becoming a shrine, and I agree. But can you magine how useful that would be?

Like the theory of a criminal always wanting to visit the scene of his crime, those suspects in terrorism would surely visit his gravesite. Bin Laden should have been buried in the ground as a military strategy.

What better way to capture supporters than requiring identification, blood samples, fingerprints, or whatever to gain access?

Here’s where my suggestion gets extreme and controversial. U.S. forces could brand an identifying mark like a bulls-eye on each visitor’s forehead. Sure, this would become a source of pride for any Bin Laden supporter, but it would sure make it easier to pick them off and get rid of them in short order if we so desired. Also, there could be comparisons to how Jews were branded with numbers. I know, I make you angry saying this shit. So I follow with a much more relaxed approach.

A tolerable alternative would be to spray them with a dye only visible with the use of ultraviolet light. Then, this spray would only last days, we could possibly track these people, but if in those days nothing happened, no harm no foul.